It's Time For A...

Maybe the happiest people aren't those with an inbox filled to the brim, but rather a heart filled with real connections.

It's early morning and your alarm rings. You're supposed to drink your preworkout in a matter of minutes and head to the gym before you start your day. You roll over in bed a couple times before reaching over to grab your phone. "Good morning gorgeous" pops up on your phone as you try to hit the snooze button. You can feel the corners of your mouth lifting. Three words. Five seconds for someone close to your heart to write it out and send it your way. All leading up the start of your day on the right foot. 

Does a single text really hold all of your happiness? A like? A new follower? Another subscriber? Maybe. Maybe not. You want to wake up to a reminder that you matter. A message, a retweet, a like. A temporary validation that you are seen. That someone out there is thinking of you. Sometimes it isn't enough. Or maybe it's too much. I hate to break it to some of you but social media is not a means of long-term happiness. 

When will you feel it most? It's the moments before you fall asleep when you place the glowing screen down and are left with nothing more than an internal monologue. It's when the most exciting thing in the world happens to you and you come back to an empty house with no one to share the happiness with. It's when you're alone and turn to something cold and mechanical to feel a little less lonely. As if a phone can really say something back or replace human interaction. 

We are the generation of constant communication. You need to realize that being plugged in 24/7 doesn't make life magically better. Life just gains a layer. It gains a sheet that you can place over things. A band-aid to momentarily stop the bleeding and ignore any issues. 

Why was I always feeling numb? At any given moment, I could be “talking” to someone, yet it never felt like I was. Why was I so disconnected when I was connected to everything? Because I wasn't. I wasn't taking the simple time to go outside and be alone. I had the safety net of my phone, ready to pull it out and distract myself from discomfort. From awkward situations. From sadness. From loneliness. From disappointment. It just delays the inevitable: facing your own reality.

Putting my phone away and spending time alone has been incredibly refreshing for me lately. I make it a point to take a walk and leave all forms of distraction behind. I remember to look at the people around me and check in with how I'm feeling. Is something bothering me? What can I do to not only feel better today, but to be a better person today?

No one can teach you how to love yourself. They can lead by example and lend a supportive hand. We can lift each other up and remind others just how worthy they are. Here's your wakeup call though: there's a reason we call it self-care, self-love, and self-esteem. If you haven't picked up on the clues yet, it's a solo journey of yourself

In light of recent events I've decided to take a break from social media including my YouTube channel and this blog for the summer. In all honesty, the recent events I'm referring to were just the tip of the iceberg. A lot has transpired since 2015 started and as always I've kept it private. 

I didn't want to disappear on you guys out of the blue and felt like I owed you a brief explanation. I feel disconnected from everyone and everything, as though I've lost myself. Numb in a sense. I can't create or upload content for you guys when I'm like that. I most definitely won't upload videos just for the sake of putting something up. I can't put up a front of being super happy when I'm not. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and in my case, what you see is what you get. 

I don't want to continuously keep plugging in and out from social media for days or weeks at time (like I have been recently)I need to unplug and focus on myself. I need to put myself first and what makes me happy. I want to be present. I want to live in the moment. I want to go out and meet new people. I want to travel, read, be outdoors, workout, spend time with my friends and family, and more importantly spend time alone to simply reflect. 

If I have to distance myself to be in a better position, then I will. I encourage you to do the same if you're experiencing similar feelings. 

I will be back on September 1st like you've never seen me before with the content that you've been requesting for months on end now. I hope you guys understand and thank you for always showing your unconditional love and support. 

Have a safe and amazing summer. I love each and every one of you.

Much love, xo

P.S. I dare you to unplug for a few days. Also, you better have some entertaining stories to tell me about your summer by the time I'm back! 

Another good read for you: HERE
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