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Why I Prefer Being Single



We don't meet people by accident, they are meant to cross our path for a reason.

Lately, I've been spending quite a bit of time alone with my thoughts, which you may or may not have noticed from my lack of social media posts over the last couple of weeks. I've been "unplugging" from the online world, on-and-off for a couple days at a time and it has been oddly refreshing. For the first time in a really long time I've been reflecting on my life and the decisions I've made to get here.  

I admit, medical school is a very lonely and depressing path if you're doing it entirely by yourself. It challenges you mentally, emotionally, and physically in ways you've never imagined. 


Parts of this post relate directly to me and others don't at all. In a sense, this is a letter to myself and anyone else who's ever needed a little advice- or rather, a reality check.

By definition, I'm a true libra- a social butterfly. I'm very comfortable with talking to strangers and absolutely love meeting new people. I get a rise out of interacting with others and learning more about them. I pick up on their body language, subtle cues in the way they speak and carry themselves, how long they hold eye contact for, etc. I find it incredibly intriguing trying to figure people out. Complete side note: my favourite past-time is people watching and trying to piece together their "story". 

However, generally speaking, I'm a person of few words with regards to my personal life. I don't open up to just anyone. I don't feel that it's necessary (or very classy) for me to put it all out there. Part of that is related to keeping my guard up, and I mean WAY up, to prevent myself from getting hurt. 

Sometimes you meet someone who you really hit it off with. You feel an instant spark and connection with them as though you've known them for years. They're your mirror image in personality, likes, and dislikes. Unbelievable. Whoa wait...what happened to keeping your guard up?! That no longer exists because you feel so comfortable opening up to them and in the heat of the moment you pour your heart out. Literally, serve your heart to them on a silver platter. Not just once, but over the span of days, weeks, and months. You start painting a picture in your mind of your future together. 

I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

Everything seems like rainbows and butterflies. *Pinch me* This is too good to be true.

Let's face it, life isn't so perfect. People, circumstances, and feelings change. Sometimes life gives you a tough pill to swallow. people aren't always how you perceived them to be. Things don't always work out the way we thought they would, which can lead to a rush of emotions and ultimately, heartache. 

Everything was coming along great and you couldn't be any happier. Why did things go south? Why did this happen? Why now? You can spend countless hours backtracking in your mind trying to figure out what went wrong or realistically, what you did wrong. Why do we always blame ourselves? Why do we convince ourselves that we're flawed? Why do we give someone else so much control over our emotions?

If you're feeling like that at all, I have a few things to say to you...

Stop Asking So Many Questions

Sometimes things happen that leave us with a million questions that we'll simply never know all the answers to. Yeah, it's frustrating and you just want to get those answers for closure purposes. Realistically though, why are you dwelling on something that's out of your control? Why are you spending so much of your time over-thinking everything and driving yourself insane in the process? As one of my very good friend's has mentioned numerous times, over-thinking never leads to anything good. Stop it. Right now. You're causing yourself unnecessary stress and anxiety. Keep your mind occupied with other things if you catch yourself over-analyzing what happened. Go to the gym, spend time with friends and family, find a creative outlet, take up a new hobby. Spend some time alone with your thoughts. I promise things will get better.

No Expectations. No Disappointments. 

I don't know how many times I've tweeted this before as a reminder to myself, yet I still find myself expecting one thing or another from someone close to me. Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectations. Let's be real though, it can be really hard not to think others would be there for you. I find that I have expectations from others simply because I would do exactly that for them, whatever it may be. Everyone is not like you, just because you have good intentions and you'd be there for them does not mean they'd do the same. Unfortunately, others' morals and values could be drastically different from yours. Stop expecting anything from anyone. Be independent and focus on yourself, you'll be much happier. 

Actions, Actions, Actions! 

Words lose their worth when they turn out to be just words. Take actions at face value and don't disregard them, or rather a lack thereof. Stop giving someone too much credit and making up excuses for the way they've been treating you. Be real with yourself. If someone genuinely wants to spend time with you they won't just say it but they'll go above and beyond to try to make it happen. Effort is everything. Understand the difference between someone who speaks to you during their free time and someone who frees up their time to speak to you. ALWAYS go by actions. 

Trust Your Instincts. Intuition Doesn't Lie. 

Never discredit your gut instinct. You're not being paranoid. Your body can pick up vibrations, some better than others, and if something deep inside of you says something's not right about a person or situation, believe it. Trust your gut instinct. Don't second guess yourself. Second guessing is over-thinking and what did I say about over-thinking?! Stop it. Go with your first thought, whatever it is. 

Remember The Good Times

If someone comes into your life and has a positive impact on you, be thankful that your paths crossed. If they can't stay for some reason, be thankful that somehow they brought joy into your life, even if it was short-lived. Life is constantly changing. People come and go, some stay, some don't and that's okay. Remember the good times and smile that it happened. Gratitude will get you places in life. 

Cry It Out 

Don't forget you're human. It's perfectly normal to have a melt down. Just don't unpack and live there. Cry it out and truly feel the pain that person has inflicted upon you. Following that, refocus on where you are headed. If you were happy before you met this person, you can be happy after they're gone...it just takes time. Focus on your goals baby girl, these men are going nowhere. 

Karma 

Come on, I can't be the only person who believes in this. I was raised by my parents to treat others the way I would want to be treated, with the utmost respect and with kindness. I could never even imagine having ill-intentions with someone, let alone doing something of that sort. Everything that I do in my life is with the purity of my heart while keeping others' goodwill in mind. One thing that I absolutely stand by is the law of attraction. If someone has wronged you, taken you for granted, used you, or simply hurt you intentionally like no other, I'd like to think karma will impact their lives in one way or another (at some point in the future). In other words, their deeds will come back to them ten-fold in ways related to the energy they've been putting out into the universe- negativity, hatred, deceit, etc. Don't sit around waiting to see it happen because it will happen when you least expect it. Regardless, some people will never change and could care less about hurting others. Stop worrying about them. Just believe in it and move on with your life. 

Love Yourself. Stay true to yourself.

Don't look down on yourself because of whatever it was that happened. Keep your chin up. Everyone makes mistakes or gives the wrong people the benefit of the doubt. It's not your mistakes that define you, it's how you move on and grow from them. You won't repeat them again and you'll be able to recognize similar situations much easier because you've experienced it first hand. It's as simple as that. Don't EVER let a person or situation make you feel any less of yourself. Continue to value yourself and hold your head up high with confidence. You're a hot commodity girl! You've been through a lot but that's what makes you, you. Come to terms with the idea that everything happens for a reason. You may not understand why just yet, but it's all part of a greater plan. 

You have an entire world and endless opportunities in front of you. Go out there and live your life to the fullest. It's okay to be single! At the end of the day, all you have is yourself, so love yourself first. 

Much love, xo 
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